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What about the Big Stuff: Finding Strength and Moving Forward When the Stakes Are High (Don't Sweat the Small Stuff Series) ReviewIf Richard Carlson writes something, I'm going to make it a
point to read it . . . I loved DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF
and his many books that followed (DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL
STUFF AT WORK, DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF FOR
MEN, etc.) . . . his words are simple, yet they make sense . . . and they seem to be written directly to you, as if he were speaking to you on a one-on-one basis.
His latest, WHAT ABOUT THE BIG STUFF? does just what it promises in the subtitle; i.e., helps you find strength and move forward when the stakes are high . . . the book tackles a range of difficult issues--from illness, death, injury, and
aging to alcoholism, divorce and financial pressures--but
does so in a manner that is not preachy . . . I actually felt
better after reading Carlson's suggestions on handling
these various situations in a proactive fashion.
In addition, I liked he got me thinking about how I
would handle things that might come my way . . . or
that might be encountered by friends and/or relatives . . . while he doesn't propose glib comebacks, he does give you
many useful ideas as to responses that might lend comfort
to those in need of it.
In reviewing my notes, I'm finding it difficult to choose
just a few parts to share, which is always a good
sign . . . but here goes anyway:
I was sitting with a friend at lunch about ten days after the
terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon. With
tears in her eyes, she said, "Did you notice that not a single person on any of the hijacked planes who had the opportunity to make a phone call called their stockbroker?" Far from being facetious, she was making an obvious but very important point. When the stakes are high, only one thing matters: love. No one is concerned about their weight or the way they look. They aren't upset that life isn't perfect. they aren't fretting about high taxes, the liberals or conservatives, previous conflicts, disputes with neighbors, or a lack of parking. They don't care about the rates of return on their investment portfolio. They aren't focused on any of their grievances.
Indeed, the only thing that matters, when it really matters, is love. The question is, "Why do we treat life as if it doesn't really matter right now?"
On the flip side, we're more careful to evaluate each situation before saying yes. When asked if you can do something, you should ask yourself two questions. First, "Is this something I have to do?" And second, "Is this something I want to do?" I you don't answer yes to at least one of these questions, you'll probably learn to say no more often. In the process, you'll begin to create more time for those things that really matter. After all, what's "bigger" than time itself?
One of my favorite descriptions of life is that it's just "one mistake after another with a little time in between." Despite its humor, this is a pretty accurate way of seeing things. If you think about it, its true. We make mistakes, we (hopefully) learn from them; we make adjustments and move on. At some point, there will be another mistake, and so forth. In the meantime, everyone else is going through the same process. Your parents are making mistakes, as are your friends, neighbors, children, coworkers, and everyone else.
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