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The Blessing: Giving the Gift of Unconditional Love and Acceptance ReviewBlessing others is a strong positive action that communicates so much more than a theological treatise, or even a sermon. Finding a way to communicate unconditional love is at the very heart of religion, and is critical to psychological growth.
Trent and Smalley's new edition of "Blessing" treads the path of building the psychological foundation of love and self esteem in children. Additionally it emphasizes the value of offering acceptance to everyone we encounter. The guidance offered is valuable to anyone who is religious, but is also wisdom for everyone who cares about people.
Trent and Smalley suggest five vital factors to giving a blessing: Meaningful and appropriate touch; a spoken message; attaching high value to the one being blessed; picturing a special future for him or her; an active commitment to fulfill the blessing.
1. Use meaningful and appropriate touch.
Many psychologists would suggest that humans require touch from others to help them feel loved and accepted. Children, especially need physical closeness to grow emotionally. Trent and Smalley posit that such behavior helps a child grow spiritually. The authors suggest that we provide meaningful touch to those we love, as touch communicates love. .
2. Best to use a spoken message.
Trent and Smalley say that spoken words of encouragement are invaluable with our children and friends. The power of the spoken word can be awesome, as it can depress or nurture. . Praise multiplies positive feelings toward others and God.
3. We should use a message that the receiver will perceive as attaching high value.
Empty praise is not of permanent value because the subject will eventually question the comment and maybe its source. Humans need to feel valued and they feel that best when they believe that their loved ones value them highly. Communicating that a person is valuable results in feelings of unconditional love. Such love allows God's love to blossom.
4. Help them by communicating a view that is picturing a special future.
Praise in the present is helpful, but praise that projects into the future is priceless. If I can communicate to my loved one that he/she is really special and will continue to be special tomorrow and next year, I increase the impact of my love.
5. Provide them an active commitment - you will help them succeed.
Often my children can become overwhelmed by the effort required to develop and grow. Frequently they need my help, but fail to recognize that I am anxious to give it. Maybe I can be like the example to which the authors refer of that favorite teacher who claimed that if a student failed, he failed. He was always available to help students understand and improve.
In "The Blessing" Trent and Smalley provide numerous Biblical and secular examples to explain their principles. Although some of the Biblical examples may not seem to precisely support their points, others are brilliant fits and carefully extended. The secular examples are realistic and precise. This book is not a tough read.
"The Blessing- Giving the Gift of Unconditional Love and Acceptance" is an excellent book. I recommend this text to anyone who desires to help others grow religiously, emotionally and psychologically.
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